how to ask out a female cashier

If you run into him somewhere else, that would be fine, though if you got the signals that it would be welcome. is it time to put my employee on a formal improvement plan? She thought they got along OK and that he seemed interested, but he never asked her out. And each creep is going to make contact with every victim that he possibly can, perhaps more than once. Its safer to assume, fairly or not, that they will react poorly and plan accordingly, especially when it could be your job on the linethey could complain about you to the manager or yell at you and even turn out to be a creepy stalker. If a I also made sure none of his co-workers or any customers were nearby. Studies show that men are not actually able, on average, to pick up on disinterest, if theyre interested in the person. Like youre causing major pain to someone by giving them your #. A response that is far more common than a many guys seem to think. By clicking Post Your Answer, you agree to our terms of service, privacy policy and cookie policy. I think, for women especially, there is also the matter of fatigue. Or even worse if I read the signs wrong and she rejects me? Remember where you are sexy flirty behaviour leads to confusion where he isnt sure if he understood, its so out of context. The worst that could happen to whom? is it unprofessional to get a tattoo on a work trip? You never know! Anyway. And thanks for the suggestion for a no-pressure meet-up, thats a super idea! Especially if whatever person I was talking to was clearly busy with something else. Even if she's busy on Thursday, or does not share your interest in this type of event it's a first step. Alright so I used to work retail. I used to work at a library too and we were always told not to give out our full names and to be vigilant of patrons. Youre the second person to mention Facebook. And all kinds of stuff in-between. The difference is that many* men will IGNORE those signals because what they want is more important to them than respecting the others wishes. Give her an easy way out. She will appreciate you phrasing it in a way that doesn't put her on the spot. And this is where our similarities come in to play: I was thinking, had I not had a girlfriend, would I ask this girl out? There's a reason advances are looked down upon in these situations: it's not about the no/yes, it's about the fact that the likelihood of an honest answer being expected or given in such a situation is low, close to impossible. TL;DR: I was 1000% sure this guy liked me, I asked him out and found out he didnt. I think it can be ok if you do it very carefully. the supervisors were involved to pass the information from him to her. my lying coworker claimed someone said I couldnt eat at my desk, telling recruiters I wont move to states that discriminate, AirTag etiquette, and more. Oh, sure. Thats the point for the worker, its a business interaction. We never talked beside "hello". just take your chance and be yourself you have nothing to lose.. you never know she might just be waiting for you to ask. Haha well I plan on it next time I see her working, but idk her work schedule thats the only thing stopping me. Hello, OP here. Need help with your relationship? I think people should recognize the difference between hitting on someone (e.g. Follow through with your invitation dont just make an empty promise and then duck away! She has never worked a customer service job before so I guess the implications didnt occur to her? He maintained professionalism through the drill, however, and never so much as asked her name during the drill. The point to all of that is, it is possible to hit on/ask a retail worker out without being creepy. So everything is possible but it has a lot to do with the interpersonal chemistry. WebBe well dressed. Thanks very much for your thoughtful comment. And Id probably be sure to check in on Swarm so thered be a record of it. At the time, it didnt seem safe to tell a random stranger my sexual orientation- especially when my co-workers didnt even know (long story, that..). I let them all down gently, the ones who were grossed I told my manager about, and the ones who were polite [key point] were cool with me afterward and there was no awkwardness between us [key point]. I was watching the whole scene unfold and he was trying his best to extend his little chat with her by just grasping at whatever topic he could think of in this sheepish, gigglish tone, and her simple responses back to him without breaking a smile, while also ringing out my items. Or something like that, I don't remember, it doesn't matter anyway. Just try not to come off like a creeper if you do ask, and really try to absorb the advice the other commenters have provided. But then, Im from that younger generation of people who hang out instead of going on proper dates. Hi. That doesnt mean that I feel the same way having crude comments shouted at me on the street. Now if in chatting it comes up that you and your friends frequent X location on Saturday nights because you love live music etc, and they show up there to say hello or you happen to run into them elsewhere, its more of a grey area thats more arguably okay. And its fine to say Cool, could I bring my friend Xanthippe? and then do so, check the address and person out beforehand, and bail at any time. That is a requirement of the principle of safe -- which also applies to you. The only thing you know about them is youre attracted to them physically, and they are friendly when youre in the shop (which should be the standard for any customer service staff). Hey, this looks like "try this" solution, could you add why using this technic is good and will work? This powerful weapon can be obtained through several means, and, To read the offense in Madden 21, look for the playmaker markers, pre-snap reads, and read/react opportunities. You could also do a step in between. Do you think hed be into that? With the acknowledgment that some people may say NOT to ask a cashier out at her work, can I get some ideas from you all assuming that I AM going to ask her out. Note I had never been to that shop before. The ball is in her field as of now and she'll be the one to decide if she wants to play. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck. It can end well! I know I have a weirdly strong opinion on this, but no. It is often used as an expression of joy which can be used to ask someone out in a fun way! I thought he was over 25ish, he though I was under 25ish. There are those rare occasions where it works out and they get married and live happily ever after, and Im an absolute sucker for those stories of taking a chance and it working out wonderfully. Only guy Ive ever asked out! Its not as dramatic as a manager asking out his employee, but in many retail environments the customer *absolutely* has power over the employee. How to ask a store clerk to leave you alone without being rude? I get enough catcalls on the streets. This happens to us (generally speaking; there are certainly exceptions) *so often* that it can feel predatory at our jobs, even if it really isnt. I think people sometimes forget that retail employees are supposed to act like this, but then, a lot of people assume that if a woman is smiling at you, shes obviously interested in you, so. Hmm Im on the fence here. Pick up something and buy it..from her lane. There's a lot of bickering over culture here: I'm from the Netherlands, female, currently 26 years old. If you're feeling insecure because of the people around think about how it can make her feel too, either she agrees or not it will also put some pressure on her so try to do it when there's no one around, and be prepared to leave either she agrees or not. But the guys who were polite and made a no pressure suggestion to grab coffee or see a movie sometime or whatever, were not doing anything wrong. I used to work retail and used to get both hit on and asked out a lot. I realize this situation is reversed, but when I was single if I was asked out at the center the answer was, Im sorry, thats not allowed. Also, you werent allowed to give out your contact information either. Slightly OT but those ads were my free entertainment when I was unemployed. Religious group. However, with a bit of forethought and confidence, you can make it happen in no time. From a quick skim of the comments, it seems like Im in the minority opinion here (Im a man myself), but two things: 1. What do you think about customers asking you out? She thought he was attractive and they got on well. Make sure everything is paid for, and walk away immediately after giving her that card. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Because of that, it can be easy to Shed been going to the coffee shop for several months, and he was really friendly every time they talked, complimenting her on safe topics like her manicure, etc. My base presumption is the OP is generally comfortably asking a person out. If she seems to like the idea, then exchange numbers. factors in her favor: -she is a very nice, polite person who would definitely have apologized and avoided ever going to that coffee shop again if he seemed offended or creeped out I met my husband in a bar; I met my previous boyfriend at our mutual workplace. Re 2, though, if you dont know them, surely it is ONLY sexual? Im gonna join the dont do it! train. I dont regret it though. I work at Barnes and Noble, and I am shocked at how often I get hit on/asked out. Some talking must have occured behind the scenes Much later, she told me she was married. People should use common sense caution. An alternative which isnt great could be posting a craigslist missed connection and somehow very strongly hint about it next time you see him (or see him then post the missed connection). So sorry to say, for me at least, the perceived romantic connections were not real. Im in the school of thought that the fact OP is concerned about how it will be received probably means shes fine to move forward. Thanks for another positive story!! If she wants you to ask her out, she'll make clear signals that you won't have to post on the internet for help interpreting. Would it really be flattering if you got asked out at work? We made plans to go to a local haunted house together in a couple of weeks, but a conversation in the meantime put the brakes on that. She Doesnt Owe You Shit If you put someone in an awkward position by asking them out when you arent really sure if theyre interested, then you probably shouldnt be mandating (even in your head) how they are to respond. I was on both sides of this in my misspent youth. One of the worst parts of retail was being trapped into conversations with these men over and over and not being able to walk away. Get their attention by saying something like I was wondering if youd like to grab dinner sometime rather than Will you go out with me? He was removed from my class after that, thankfully (although it took awhile because I didnt report it to my bosses until after the class had ended and then he didnt come back for a couple weeks, and I was definitely nervous about him returning and nervous again when he showed up and I had to say, Boss wanted to see you), and one of my bosses came around and did a brief talk to all the classes without naming any names basically saying, People, dont ask out your teachers. Which was really the best boss reaction I could have asked for, but still, ugh. I think theres a power differential between the customer and the employee that youre missing here. Call me, you teapot vending minx side so even if you DO post something really innocuous, you still get painted with that really gross paintbrush. Enjoy your time together but make sure that you maintain boundaries; this will help create an enjoyable experience for both parties involved! First, make sure that you are respectful and courteous when asking for The Im having a party, stop by if youd like does seem like a good possible compromiseI think its because thats phrasing the request in such a way that the burden isnt on the employee to say no. I worked a lot of retail jobs during middle school, high school, and college, and its unbelievable how many people misinterpret someone being polite and friendly as flirting. And I'd even more strongly recommend not waiting for her in a parking area! This was an attractive chick asking about his day, a little more than the usual perfunctory interaction. but its great that you remained friendly. One thing. Yes, retail employees get hit on a lot, but on the flip side, I always thought working retail was fun because I got to meet some cute guy customers. Maybe you don't need her number and she can just show up at a place and time. Thanks for the advice and encouragement Erin! After the date has ended, be sure to follow up with your date by sending them a text or calling them; this will show that you are interested and care about them. This will not get you a natural reaction and is prone to outside interaction from her co-workers and such. My question is how I can ask for her number, or ask her out for coffee while she is only sitting at the checkout? I couldnt agree more. I was in my 20s and it was my last day at my summer job, so I wouldnt have seen him again, at least not for an entire school year, provided hed still be doing retail the following year. ", Although, if i were you, i would have used that line (but that's me). Since the OP is the customer, if read it correctly, the OP should ask the question. You could either leave her your phone number and tell her to say hi sometime (and I stress that you leave her your number and do not ask her for hers) or you could be a Of course, if she tells you she has a policy against dating customers and you later see her dating another one, don't call her on it. When youre in a position where your continued success (and as a waitress, your actual ability to pay your eat/bills) is contingent on playing nice with people who treat you like crap day in and day outand looking sufficiently enthusiastic about it, thankyouverymuchthe power dynamic there is way off. Practice in front of a mirror or with friends, so that you are comfortable speaking and expressing yourself before you actually approach the cashier. I believe we're all mature enough to understand the fact that people react differently to you based on how they feel about you. About 15 years ago I met a girl working at a local convenience store. It gets so old! Youve got the people who say the waiter seemed friendly, so I gave him my number, and weve been married 30 years now. what are the minimum benefits an employer needs to provide? Find out something Dont put him on the spot by forcing him to balance customer service with a romantic overture its unfair to him. But fr what a lot of people are saying here, has the world just gotten that much more creepy? That would be some might serious dating phobia to have that reaction from a casual reach out, hed be quite the outlier with that level of panic. Is it too early to have sex? Meh. An example could be, Hey so this is going to be super weird. I mean, aside from the 95% factor, she may have a prior engagement that night, so her failure to appear is not even a rejection, and she doesn't want to worry about you feeling like it was. I cant figure out a way to work cheese into this at all though, unfortunately :) I know what you mean about the manager thing: hes older and its one of those places where managers are expected to do everything that their employees do so I dont know if he is or not. There's an implicit power imbalance between customer and employee. The guy was CLEARLY crushing on her, he was like he forgot something at the store so he came back, and proceeded to just chat further and she was smiling and just allowed herself to be responsive. These results are similar to where the pay gap stood in 2002, when Casually go her way, drop something or try to create a natural interaction, then start conversation. Resin is a vital resource for Conan Exiles players wanting to expand their base and create unlocks. We didnt mean anything by it, it was just a way to break up the tedium. Do you have personal experience where you successfully use this technic? If you buy e.g. Yes, it was a common interest, but I also had a certain number of reservations and sales I needed to make. This is while there were a line of people waiting for my attention. Unless hes specifically told you about these things, you dont know whats going on in the background for him, and what it might raise. I have a fair number of female friends, and many (Id wager most) feel flattered when a man approaches them confidently and in a not-creepy or inappropriate way. I just checked it for my area, and, sure enough I delivered your pizza last night; you were in a swimsuit. About a decade ago, I worked in a store that had mostly male customers. (sorry if posting links is not ok; its a Captain Awkward post entitled, Blanket Statement: Stop Hitting on the Waitress so you could google that. When I worked retail, I got hit on a few times by male customers. Nothing high pressure, just hey call me if you want to get coffee. We hung out a few times, then both moved away from the area but were still friendly now. One dude at the bank I worked at in college asked me out over the intercom in the drivethru tellers lane and then got angry because I smiled and wished him a nice day whenever he came by. I'll just assume you're somewhat smart as to not be caught doing this and that you've already made your mind up. I find the other answers very unusual, which illustrates there must be some kind of cultural difference at play. Where I grew up (the UK) it is com It was actually terrifying wondering if hed show up again. You know, the douche who asks every cute girl out and thinks he's hot shit. Im sure the OP isnt looking to treat the worker like a piece of meat for their amusement. NB They were both well into their 30s when they met. Sure. There would seem to be a paradox, in that lowering the cost of rejection for her increases your chances of success, but there really isn't a paradox. This is also a longshot. I hated being asked out when I worked retail because it was awkward and there was never anywhere I could escape to after I said no. The way she did it was to grab another waitress and say hey, Id like to give my number to our waiter. I guess the sexy librarian thing does not help in that respect either :(((. Some were way too persistent. It pays An intelligent woman shouldnt have a problem meeting a prescreened stranger in a public place without having to take friends a family on the date. If he say, Oh, rats! (Then again, he might also think youre a shoplifter, for all I know But probably not.). Or if you buy a bottle of wine, you can ask her about it. Obviously you dont want to be creepily waiting for him by his car or something, but it could give you a chance to ask him out while hes off the clock. Note that I am not recommending you ask her out, just suggesting a way of making it easier for her to say no without either of you losing face. I dated someone for 5 years he was a customer who asked me out. You typically only hear those kind of stories with hookers and johns (because youre not going to the cops to report a pimp robbing you) but I assume it happens to regular people too. Most notably, the fireman passed his number through those people to give to her, and left it up to her to contact him if she was interested. I got the message. My suggestion is to not overthink this or make it overly complicated. The thing with Missed Connections is that 99.9% of them tend more to the Id love to take a swig from your Chocolate Teapot! If she can't fit dating into her schedule or budget, if family or social or work issues prevent her (can she date customers?) I do not understand why being asked on a date (or simply learning that someone is attracted to you) is apparently now widely considered a traumatizing experience to be protected against at all times. What differentiates living as mere roommates from living in a marriage-like relationship? Hes always nice and professional, but makes sure that his suitor knows that he has a serious girlfriend. I have been investigating my ability to search for past posts. I think OP should probably take advice from local friends and ask what's expected there. No I haven't idk if I want her getting wind of my intentions instead of it seeming spontaneous. I tried to give it an international flavor (ie, here it's generally OK to make smalltalk or jokes if time allows, but that's not the same as asking her out). There are a million variables here. OP think twice, thrice, four times before you do this. This is bad enough in public, but its a bit worse if youre being put in that situation at work. So try some small-talk and see where it takes you, but be polite and do not ask for a date up front. While I've known this girl she has blocked or otherwise shut out countless guys trying the same thing and that could easily have been me as well. ?. Its how our brains are wired up. It has to be something any random girl would find enjoyable all by itself even if you weren't involved. I was thinking the same thing. Sadly she wasn't in today when I was. You dont know this person, they dont know you! Scan this QR code to download the app now. She has an easy escape: "Back to work, bye". How to get to know a service staff without interrupting her work? (gives performance flyer). Some were creepy. I wrote write my info on a small piece of paper and said something as non-pickup-y as possible: If you want to talk more about photography, heres my info or something. And the people who are psychic: youre misunderstanding their friendly customer service smile as interest. At one library where I worked, we were actually told to stop wearing our nametags because there was so much of this. Am I the only one remembering Taylor the Latte Boy and Lisa the Stalker Chick songs? That will most certainly backfire. You can guess empowered is too, but there's a third: ability. I worked retail throughout high school and college. I came of age during a time where it was new and shocking for women to take planes, trains and automobiles on their own. Its not so much that its every man or even most men as that its frequent enough, and WHICH man it is is totally unpredictable. It made me question my behavior and be mad at myself for smiling a lot and just being casual and courteous. Your lindy hop can lead to a special moment for both of you, making the experience more memorable. Acknowledge their feelings and thank them for being honest with you. truealso as a guy he would probably feel less threatened if the attention was unwanted. He didnt, but then I saw him one night at a club and I approached him and the rest is history! I cant throw enough yesses at this reply, fposte. How To Get Resin Conan Exiles? When he's getting off work and what plans he has afterward. What I say may sound weird to some, but you can actually be cool and nice to women without any second thoughts. Make sure you speak clearly. The flaw in this approach is there isn't really an explainable reason for telling her that. I worked for years in retail when I was younger and fended off unwanted requests for dates successfully and without any kind of emotional scarring.). It was so non-creepy that I didnt even realize it was a request for a date until the end of the day. I understand the situation, and if you really want to know her and you think the signs look good, then I suggest go for it. Ive always thought of it more as, Hey, youre someone that seems to be intereseting, and Id like to get to know you better. (Actually, kind of like a job interview in a lot of ways, haha. I (female, red-haired) worked in video game retail for a while. After we left the store, my dad muttered, well, he seemed to like you ok. (Sidenote: my dad and I never, ever talk about anything remotely related to me dating. To an extent, we cant help it. Meet a friendly stranger in a very public, preferably bright lit space and, preferably surrounded by old friends and family. +1. Never accept a cashiers check thats written for more than the amount you asked for. For a male, the odds are stacked against you. I didnt realize what i had, made her second, and betrayed her.. now that shes gone i feel shes the 1. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. I have a boyfriend. It's her job to be nice to you, don't mistake this for her giving hints that she's interested in you. When asking out a cashier, one should be aware that there is always a chance of rejection. Offer to leave your number or contact details so that they can reach out if interested. The only thing that the job requires is that the worker to be nice to their customer (most of the times). Alisons advice on how to make it low-pressure is good. Im not interested. It is understandable how someone who works for an unreasonable manager or one who routinely sides with the customer could be concerned about what will happen when they turn that customer down. Always be on your best behavior around them in the future. I have to say, I feel bad for the pressure being put on men for the whole asking someone out thing because that was the first and ONLY time I have ever asked a guy out and I got rejected. But I dont think that means that they shouldnt do it. Working retail, this happens so, so frequently that it stops being flattering and becomes another work annoyance that you have to deal with, plus the unease of not knowing how someone is going to react if you reject them. I agree that the group thing could be a good, low-pressure way to go. Bookstore or coffee shop or any number of other public places in which neither of them is at work doing his or her job at the time of the encounter. I wouldnt necessarily invite someone Id met in this compartmentalized way to my home. I got asked for my phone number all of the time. I once stayed at a youth hostel, the day after I checked out I ran into one of their employees on a bus, 200 km from the hostel. Privacy Policy and Affiliate Disclosures, I own a game store with a terrible manager who I'm afraid to fire. It's up to you to weigh the pros and cons and do your choice, make the one which will leave you with less regrets as possible. On my first day of teaching ever. I named myself after Moss because I missed him. Admittedly, my old district manager basically fired anyone who had a direct complaint made about them no matter how ridiculous (seriously), but these thoughts would all run through my head and Id be scared my livelihood depended on saying yes to a date with someone in whom I am potentially not interested in at all. I cant tell you how many times a guy mistook my friendliness for flirting with him. Feel really confused like if shes playing games with me. Just as fraking capable of taking care of myself as any man ,thankyouverymuch. It's public enough (assuming there's people around) and therefore reasonably safe, but private enough to not be embarassing. google senior research scientist salary,

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